Mini-Me

Besides our outward appearance, we also inherit a great part of our personality from our parents. And just like looks and values, we hope that our children will only inherit the best from us. But of course, genes are something totally beyond our control.

Many people have commented that XX takes after me in terms of looks. He's certainly got my fair skin, small nose and rounded cheeks. What many don't know and can't tell is that XX is a mini-me in certain aspects of personality as well. He's easygoing and sweet-natured like a cute puppy most of the time but recently, he's shown that he can be difficult and stubborn as bulldog when he's pissed off. Again, I'm not sure if it's just the "Terrible Twos/Threes" phase or his genetic setup but he has been exploding into tantrums over the slightest things, at the average rate of twice every three days.

Just yesterday, we had another episode. We had a good lunch yesterday at a cafe in Flemington. Before we left, I asked him if he still wanted the balance 1/4 cup of strawberry milk shake and I gathered no from his expression. After we left the cafe, we found out on the way to the car that he'd changed his mind and now wanted that milk shake back. Of course, it was too late. He insisted on going back and when we said no, started crying and refusing to get into the car. Another milk shake somewhere else just will not do. When he was forced to get into his car seat and threatened to be left along the street by Daddy, he turned his temper to me, insisting I stay on the street. And he got even more upset when we ignored his demand.

When his 'bomb' gets set off, nothing, NOTHING you do or say can soothe him. He's beyond reasoning and he pushes everyone who tries to comfort him away. He will stubbornly refuse any alternative. It's his way or no way. He will rather be caned and beaten than submit. For a tot that's not even a metre tall, that's a lot of nerves and grit. He can be very rebellious too. The more you don't want him to do it, the more he'll do it. I know from my own psychology that the hard approach just makes him harder and I can understand why he behaves the way he does. But yet he needs to learn that not everything in the world goes his way everytime. If he doesn't learn how to deal with it and change his rebellious and stubborn nature, I'm worried it will bring him and us more misery as he grows older.

Isn't it amazing what we can learn from our children? I am of this belief that God gives us children not just to bless us but also to teach us a lesson or two about life. Because we have become parents, we can better empathise with our parents and as a result, we become better children. Because we see ourselves in our children and because we want the best for them, we learn to be better people. With age and maturity, I don't 'explode so often nowadays but everytime XX goes into one of these tantrums, I'm reminded of myself and greatly humbled. While genes are not within our control, I'm hoping we can teach our children skills to understand and deal with their natural inner setup.