After 2 nights of badly interrupted sleep, my body finally showed signs of fatigue this morning with a splitting headache. For this, I have no one to blame except me, myself and my 'active' mind. You see, when I wake up in the middle of my sleep, for whatever reason, there is a high chance I cannot get back to sleep again once my mind becomes alert.
Previously when I was breastfeeding, this problem is minimized as I’ll simply pull Baby X towards me and breastfeed him half awake. After we returned from Brisbane, I had totally weaned him off. So when he wakes up at night, Hubby is there to make the milk and wash the bottle. I just have to stuff the bottle into Baby X’s mouth and hold it, trying to maintain my semi-conscious state of mind.
These last 2 nights, Hubby went overseas for work. I had to wake up and make milk for Baby X, feed him and then wash the bottle. I will then refill the water and milk powder to prepare for the next feed. After all these activities, I climbed back to bed and spent the next frustrating hours trying hard to return to dreamland. My awaken mind will unconsciously start to wander off and I will catch myself thinking about stuff about work, home, kids – anything under the sky! Those of you who can identify with this will know that it is the nightmare of all nightmares! I’ll tell myself, ok, stop thinking about this now and even try counting my breathing (inhale – 1, exhale – 2) to focus my thoughts. 90% of the time, it doesn’t work. I’ll eventually fall back asleep after tossing and turning for about 2 hours.
Half an hour after that, Baby X stirs again…..arrgh, time for the next feed?
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